My endless stagnation

  • You know, I think that the reason that I, along with many other people get strung away with anime, is because of the passion and drive of the characters. It's insane. To many of us, it's a drive that we have never seen in our lives, from the lives of those around us, or ourselves. So we get consumed by this drive, by this passion, and become obsessed. We become obsessed with seeing our favourite characters overcome trials and turbulatoin, cheer when they reach their goal, cry when they cry, scream as they miss opportunities, saying how stupid they are. But in the midst of all this, where are we? We are so stuck in the endless adventures of anime, that I believe we leave ourselves along the way somewhere. Of course I can't speak for everyone, and probably can only accurately portray myself, as the otaku community is a broad one, but still. Where are our adventuers? Where is our passion for life? Why do we cheer for life drawn on a screen, while we go to school/work and trudge through the day, as a zombie? 

    I am a musician. 

    But why am I so lazy? After finishing the tearjerker of an anime 'Your Lie in April' I cried, not only because the beauty of the anime, but for myself as well. Why couldn't I have kept on striving? For the past three years of my life, I have been inchworming in my life, as a highschooler, and looking back, as a graduate, I weep for what I could have been. I had such drive back in jr high, and where did all of that go? I tell myself how I can improve, how I can be a better person, and I know exactly where to go from here. Yet it is as if I am trapped in stagnation. I see the path that I desire to be on, and that I know I will be happy on, but why can't I just move? why can't I become more? I have told myself I am a musician, but also have put in such a half assed effort the past three years. I cry, and scream at the top of my lungs at my reflection to change into something I can bare to look at, yet my feet do not move to allow that. So I remain standing here, with good intentions, and goals, seaching for some type of strength to push me forward. 

    If I were watching my own life through an anime, I am sure I would be yelling at myself saying 'What have you got to lose??! Just move your lazy ass forward!!' So if anyone reads this, and thinks that, I totally get it. I really do. But all I know is that one day, hopefully soon, I will find the drive, and the love for life I express in the anime I watch, and be able to take steps forward..

    And break into a sprint.

3 comments
  • Mimihero likes this
  • Mimihero
    Mimihero I feels ! !! I love anime characters personally because of how alive and exaggerated they can take life; which I feel is how life deserves to feel like. Hehehe also the lessons taught have such great and creative depth to them.

    You're a musician? ^^...  more
    February 22, 2016 - 1 likes this
  • Jenny
    Jenny Hey stranger, I can relate.
    I know it's kind of cheesy, but when i'm struggling with something in my life, or experiencing continued failure in pursuit of my dream, I think of the resilience of my favorite anime/manga characters and I am inspired to...  more
    February 28, 2016 - 1 likes this
  • Blake
    Blake Thanks, I appreciate the words And it honestly is not weird at all, all the time, I feel I am influenced by anime, to never give up, to love with honour and passion, and to believe in the people around me. While it isn't always easy to live life, we can...  more
    February 28, 2016 - 1 likes this